“Embrace the orchestra without stifling it,” says the conductor, now 92 years old, who subtly explains the difference between conducting and making music. Haitink is sensitive yet has an iron fist. He is both encouraging and strict with his orchestra. He’s no control freak; he instills a sense of freedom and space. He has confidence in his musicians and makes that clear. He doesn’t place himself above them or outside of them, but is part of the orchestra. His criticism is always respectful. These are qualities that many leaders would find difficult to emulate.

The foundation of his performance lies in mastering the score. Understanding the composer is key, yet it is only the beginning of the work. Rehearsing and building together with the orchestra. Connecting with one another. It’s no longer about thinking, but about feeling. Unfolding the music. This is what makes the silences in the score special. Sensing where the other person is. At the moment when the distinction between “does the orchestra follow the conductor” or “does the conductor follow the orchestra” disappears, musicians and conductor surrender themselves completely to the essence. A “love affair.” For some, the most beautiful thing there is. For others, even peace.