Column by Peter de Bruin

“Schoolyard”

In his latest column, Peter de Bruin reflects—as a critical friend—on the learning he experienced in the schoolyard.

As a small child, I was (according to my mother) an innocent, rather sensitive, sweet boy. Through trial and error, however, I became “wise” at an early age. In the schoolyard, I often had to run for my life. That’s how I developed a keen sense of danger and safety. Withdrawn in my bedroom, I escaped into music and dreamed of a career abroad.

As I went through the rest of my adolescence, I developed a strong armor, sharp logic, and good intuition. Armor to protect myself, logic to chart a path forward, and intuition to stay one step ahead of danger. I don’t want to exaggerate—especially since everything turned out just fine in the end—but it certainly wasn’t all sunshine and roses. Many people know me as an unyielding go-getter. That willpower and drive to prove myself were born during my youth.

At first, I built my career on strength and reason. Until it turned out that this caused too much damage. One example of that damage was that, as I later realized, the people around me were wary of my short temper. They were on their guard. Around the time I turned thirty-five, there was even a colleague who dared to tell me that she was afraid of me. I’m still very grateful to her for that. That was the wake-up call I needed. That was exactly what I didn’t want. Her intervention set a positive and important change in motion.

By “re-developing” my sensitive or intuitive side, I was able to find my footing. An ever-improving balance between reason and emotion, strength and feeling, has made me a different man, professional, father, friend, manager, volunteer, … Without a protective shell, I’ve been able to build the second half of my career on a combination of blue and red. This is reflected in the roots of the consulting firm that I’ve dedicated myself to—with my head, heart, and soul—for more than twenty-five years.

Now, as a “critical friend,” I help teams and individuals strike that balance. As a professional, I certainly share everything I’ve learned myself. In many of my assignments, I recognize a (similar) kind of schoolyard. In the analogy of a schoolyard, you can see virtually everything that’s going on within the organization. All communication—both verbal and nonverbal—reveals the dynamics: power, influence, competencies, power plays, group formation, control, oversight… in short, everything. Being able to see through this—by combining reason and intuition in leadership—gives my clients a competitive edge. Highly recommended.

With the advent of AI, the need for governance and management to take the intuitive aspect of leadership seriously is only increasing. Not in isolation—that would be unrealistic—but in a connected, grounded way. AI ensures that not only information but also knowledge is available everywhere. Moreover, when it comes to governance challenges, people’s creative, intuitive, and connecting qualities are indispensable. I hope everyone has a “schoolyard” where they can practice these skills.

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