Last Saturday, I witnessed a brief exchange between a father and his son. The young boy was returning from his sports game. “So, did you win?” “No, Dad.” “But did you score?” “No, not that either.” And that was the end of the conversation. They both turned around and walked away. Not a word about “Did you play well? Did you learn anything? How was it on your team? Would you like it if I came to watch next time?”

The father seems interested only in winning and scoring. It’s all about appearances. As far as I’m concerned, that’s a pretty shallow view of inspiration and learning. Yet we see this a lot—little attention paid to what’s going on inside. And not just at a young age.

That same day, I received the news that a college classmate had taken his own life. A successful, outgoing, and beloved man. Far too young. It’s unclear why. And what the point was.

On the surface, they seem to have nothing to do with each other, and yet I see a connection between the two events. And I realize: if we keep going this way, we don’t stand a chance.

Human achievements are a blessing. We have everything we need. And yet, the waiting list for mental health care has never been longer. Technological progress brings prosperity in many ways. But it also makes us lazy and ignorant. Take navigation, for example: it’s easy to get from A to B, but you have no idea where you are. Or the calculator—who can still do mental math when paying the bill?

What would we do without all our resources? Looked at another way, how many of us could survive ten days in nature without food, a cell phone, or a credit card? Very few, indeed. We are free. Free, yet completely dependent. What if the power went out for 30 days?

In a life where anything is possible, nothing matters anymore. We’ve become so complacent that some of us can afford to concern ourselves with “basic” woke issues. But I believe we’re mainly free only on the surface. Free, but no longer connected. We’re being destroyed by the possibilities and the outward appearances. Indeed, strong men (and women) create easy times. Easy times generate weak men (and women). Freely adapted from G. Michael Hopf ^*)

As we wage a cold war, I wonder when this charade we’re all putting on will come to an end. On the surface, it’s “everything for everyone,” while we carry our suffering with us. Sooner or later, we’ll all become victims. Let’s wake each other up with a kiss. Teach fathers not to ask only about the score. Otherwise, we may be supposedly free, but above all, we’re hopeless.

^*1) “Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times.”
G. Michael Hopf